Thursday, January 12, 2006

Review of Broke Back Mountain… Bare Back Mountain… Backdoor Mountain

I forget the title, I didn’t see it.

But Becky did (congrats, you made the blog) and I will write my review off of her analysis.

Becky said that the movie has some really hot guys but had a really sad story.

This synopsis combined with the previous knowledge that the two “hot guys” engage in acts expressly stated as “no-no’s” in the Bible, I was able to draw the true motive behind this film.

It’s softcore porn for women!

Think about it, Anytime you’ve turned Cinemax on after midnight there’s 2 women sharing a jail cell, wearing some rather reveling prison uniforms and eventually they do things also considered no-no’s by the Bible. This is also the sole reason most men subscribe to Cinemax.

Guys like inmates, girls like cowboys; it’s the natural order of things. Girls also like Lifetime which is nothing but sad stories. Remember those old Reese's cups commercials “You got peanut butter in my chocolate… you got chocolate in my peanut butter!”

Welcome to the 21st Century: “You got gay cowboys in my depressing story… You got depressing story all over my gay cowboys!”

Now I can just imagine the pitch meeting with the studio executives for this movie.

“Larry, I want to pitch you this movie about cowboys… but instead of riding horses and women, they ride each other!”

“Walter, That’s great! The gay thing totally pisses on the values of middle America, which should reverse our declining ticket sales! Wanna make out?”

Congratulations, Hollywood, you’ve gotten it wrong again with Bend Over Mountain. But then again, that’s hardly news.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you're going to be hating the gays you might as well just go ahead and say it. The people who run the site www.GodHatesFags.com can do it, why can't you?

Maybe you should write for them?

The Unsomnambulist said...

Since the above didn't have the balls to sign their comments, I will.
To anonymous: ditto.

Andy Z. said...

this was not a criticsim of gays, it was a criticism of hollywood.

Please read before commenting

regards

az!

Anonymous said...

Ah, so you are criticizing Hollywood. And what are you critizing them for? Being gay and/or being sympathetic to gay to gay characters.

That, my friend, is being anti-gay.

You say this movie was done with the intention of pissing off middle America, yet you refuse to see it. Being from middle America yourself, that implies that just the very presence of a movie with the subject of two gay characters is enough to piss you off.

That, my friend, is anti-gay as well.

While you are probably just covering for yourself, it would pretty funny if you while harboring these anti-gay feelings you didn't even know it. But that's doubtful.

Andy Z. said...

I'm not gay... and I'll prove it to any woman who doubts me!