What I DON'T Want For Christmas

I've come to believe that the worst christmas gift you can get is any christmas decoration. I put up my tree yesterday and when I decided to add to festivities I looked in my closet and found the following 3 items:

• a dog that barks christmas carols
• 2 snow men that sing "Baby it's cold out side"
• and a penguin that dances and sings to an overly upbeat version of "Jingle Bells"

All 3 of these were Christmas present and aside from the singing dog that used to upset our real dog who thought another dog had invaded her house, none of them get used more than a week a year.

So what's the point of giving someone a Christmas decoration when most people decorate BEFORE christmas and take things down by new years? it's like saying "Here's a gift that you can use for the next week and then not for another year." You know what's a better gift than this?

ANYTHING ELSE!

• Underwear
• Socks
• A spatula
• The complete DVD Box Set of 227
• A gift card for a brazilian wax