Coach Andy Fixes the NFL

Several NFL teams have said goodbye to their coaches this week. The list includes Capers out in Texas (this was expected when Jimmy Johnson publicly turned the job down on TV), Haslett out in New Orleans/San Antonio. Martz gone from St. Louis, Sherman out in Green Bay, Tice gone from the Twin cities, and this on top of Vermeil retiring from KC. By Tuesday the Raiders added coach Norv Turner to the list.

With now seven coaching positions open in the NFL It’s time I got my resume together and applied for some jobs.

Andy’s first day as coach of the Minnesota Vikings
I would stand in front of the whole team and ask, “Who likes hookers? Okay everyone with your hand up in the air, you’re cut! Now, who likes to win? Why aren't you people raising your hands!!!”

Andy’s first day as coach of the Green Bay Packers
“Favre, I'm trading you to Baltimore for their entire Offensive line!”

Andy’s first day as coach of the Houston Texans
“Davis, Carr, I'm trading you two for linemen, drafting Reggie bush and picking up Harrington as a free agent and changing the team name to the Oilers.”

Of course not every team can be fixed by just trading all the good players for linemen.

Andy’s first day as head coach of the Detroit Lions
Hello team, I'd like to introduce you to the president of the club, Matt Millen . Now KICK HIS ASS!!!