Scab Writer to the Rescue

With a writers strike in Hollywood eminent many of our favorite TV shows may not be available. In an effort to limit the number of reality shows on television and keep quality programming available as a vehicle for Erectile Dysfunction ads I am offering the networks (and maybe Cable if the money is right) the following list of TV shows I’m willing to scab write for the sake of keeping television interesting:

Down Town Grounds
Set in a trendy coffee house the manager Mark Linn-Baker (Perfect Strangers) must fight off caffeine addicted homeless people, sometimes with a shot gun.

The Ass Kicking Action Hour
Mr. T, Chuck Norris and David Hasslehoff are a team of superhero crime fighters who travel the world kicking ass.

The Sweeps
Basically a rip off of Grey's Anatomy where there are a lot of good looking people with lots of personal drama, but instead of being doctors they’re Chimney Sweeps.

I’m a Schizophrenic and So am I
Dana Carvey returns to television as a lawyer with multiple personality disorder, often taking different sides of the same case.
Also staring Chritina Applegate as Nurse Pinkthong.

Rivals
Can mascots from different teams live together? We find out in this wacky sitcom where Pittsburgh’s Pirate Parrot, the San Diego Chicken and The Philly Fanatic all move in together. Also featuring Wayne Brady and Nikki Cox as wacky neighbors.

Lunch at Tiffany’s
Based on the classic film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” Jessica Alba stars as Holly Golightly, a New Yorker living a carefree lifestyle running information for the mafia. Can she balance her high society lifestyle with her commitments to the mob?

Dysfunctional Family Sitcom Featuring a Fat Guy with a Hot Wife
Based on the comedy of comedian (insert comedian name here) this family looks normal on the surface only to realize that they actually bicker constantly.
Also staring Tara Reid as the hot wife that would never bee seen with a guy like that in real life.