Friday, July 18, 2008

In The News

Seriously, I haven’t done one in entirely too long….

Gore urges U.S. to have carbon-free power in decade
WASHINGTON — Former Vice President Al Gore urged the United States on Thursday to convert the nation’s entire electricity grid to carbon-free energy within 10 years, warning that drastic steps are needed to avoid a global economic and ecological cataclysm.

I haven't picked on Mr. Gore in a while, but this is just too easy: Gore plans on helping this along by using up all the fossil fuels by flying all over the world making these statements in his personal private jet.

FDA gives all-clear on tomatoes, not peppers
Jalapeno, serrano varieties focus of salmonella hunt
WASHINGTON — The Food and Drug Administration declared on Thursday that it is again safe to eat all tomatoes now on sale in the U.S., canceling its warning in June that some tomatoes were the cause of a still-unsolved outbreak of salmonella poisoning.

This further proves my theory that Al-Quaeda is trying to kill us with Salsa!

Britney Spears gives sole custody to Kevin Federline. For now.
isn't she dead yet?

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reportedly reached a settlement in their acrimonious 1½-year-long court battle over custody of their two sons.

Federline has sole custody of Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1. And Spears keeps her current status of two visits and one overnight per week.

We all knew Britney was a bad parent, but how bad was she that these kids are better off with the jagdork willing to marry her! Reportedly the chidren get along with K-Fed’s illegitimate child he conceived just before marrying the pop star.

Starbucks identifies stores slated for closure
No coffee no peace, know coffee know peace?
Coffee chain to shutter more than 600 stores in response to slowing sales, sluggish economy.
NEW YORK ( -- Starbucks Corp. released a list Thursday of the 616 company-owned stores it will shutter by the first half of 2009.

The closures accompany planned layoffs of 12,000 workers. Starbucks currently operates 7,087 stores in the U.S.

Can we blame the coffee bean speculators for keeping the prices high? Or is it just the CEO’s of Big Coffee? Maybe it's a supply and demand problem with the growth of Chinese coffee drinkers. It's actually because Gas prices so high people are choosing to fill up their car than their mug. Now every one of those pansy-assed late-sipping New York Times reading, Ed Hardy wearing pseudo-sophisticated coffee shop socialites now have a reason to expand offshore drilling too!

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