I’m not really Jesus but I play him at church

For those of you not old enough to remember, or just never took a marketing class there once was a medicine commercial starring an actor from a TV medical show. The actor started out “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV…” He then leverages his credibility as an actor playing a doctor not an actual doctor to recommend some sort of medicine.

That being said, I will now be leveraging my portrayal as Jesus during my church’s Easter Week services to recommend hat you believe everything on my blog.

Yes I have now followed in the steps of Jim Caviezel, and… well I don’t know anyone else who has played Jesus. But since Jim Caviezel also played Bobby Jones, the amateur golfer who started Augusta National Golf Club and subsequently the Masters (which also wraps up Easter Sunday this year) I think that’s enough credibility for one Blog Post.

So this week I made my debut as a thespian at church. Each night between Monday and Thursday we had a narrator read scripture while actors mimed the motions of the day’s readings.

Monday I got to turn over the moneychanger’s table. Tuesday Judas betrayed me, Wednesday I washed disciple’s feet and Thursday I broke bread and did a perp walk (Yes I used the term “perp walk” when referring to the arrest of Jesus).

Now there are a few things you should remember when playing Jesus.

1. Remember to take off your digital watch. Jesus acted impatient by tapping a sundial strapped to his wrist.
2. Be sure to silence your cel phone. Nothing breaks the mood like Jesus postponing the Sermon on the Mount to take a call. Especially if his ringtone is AC/DC’s Back in Black like mine is.
3. That beard is itchy. So as soon as my final performance was over I took the clippers and a razor to my face for the first time in two weeks. I also got a haircut the next morning and I’m back to my clean-cut self. Now I know how Ben Roethlisberger (the savior of the Pittsburgh Steelers) felt when he couldn’t shave through the 2006 NFL Playoffs.

All in all it’s Easter weekend. Don’t forget to color some eggs, eat a chocolate rabbit and remember just why this is the most important weekend for Christians (and golf fans but that’s another blog post).