How to solve Social Security without raising taxes, cutting benefits or getting into a “risky scheme

The real problem with Social Security over the next thirty years is that there will be more people drawing benefits than are paying into the system. Well that’s the accounting problem; the real problem is congress borrowing money from the Social Security fund for other types of programs and essentially leaving IOU’s in it’s place. But even without such indisgcrissions in borrowing the problem would be that of demographics.

In the beginning (the 1940’s) sixteen people paid into the system for every retiree. Then the Baby boomers came and all was good because there were plenty of warm bodies to get jobs and pay Social Security Tax. Then the Baby Boomers (or are they the Baby Boomers’ Babies) grew up. Got Jobs, got married and had less kids. Now if this were a Catholic blog I could condemn birth control here, but I’ll let you insert your own condom joke here.

Oh I can’t help myself…

why did the condom fly around the room?

Because it got pissed off!

Okay that’s out of my system.

So now that the birth rate has declined there are less people are available to draw taxes from for the impending large body of retiring baby boomers.

My solution:
My solution to the impending social security disaster will have two-fold effect. First, it saves the current system. Second it encourages personal saving so people are not dependant on the government in their golden years.

Ergo, when American citizens reach the retirement age of sixty-five we give them a choice: Retire at their own expense, keep working, or die!

Going back to the root of the problem: more people drawing from a smaller pool; we see that the obvious solution is to limit the number of people drawing from that pool. This way we can save the current system by killing those who would otherwise be leaching off of the system. Those who don’t want to die will save and invest for their own retirement, and most importantly nobody raises my taxes!!!

Eventually the system will correct itself when the demographics of the country allow for less retirees than workers. That, or everybody just takes personal responsibility for their own retirement and there is no need for Social Security. At which we can loose the farce that Social Security funds are somehow separate from the federal budget.

No, I don’t get back any of the money I’ve paid into the system, but the Pentagon has a $5000 toilet!

What I propose is not a novel idea. Ever seen Logan’s Run? I haven’t, but I hear it’s about euthanasia at the age of 30. I think there was a Star Trek episode on the subject as well, but Star Trek was pretty famous for ripping off everybody else’s ideas (exotic green women were obviously copied from the “Jolly Green Giant”).

In the end it will take creative thinking to solve this dire problem, and dire it is.

I’d also like to point out that sometimes thinking outside the box is a complete waste of time.

And that’s what I’ve done here!