The Adventures of Andy at Whole Foods

I went to Whole Foods last night for grocery shopping.

They didn't have anything I liked, and the stuff I did like, I couldn't afford.

The only things I bought were some plumbs, a package of bacon some spaghetti (none of their sauces had meat) and some all natural che-tos

I had to get out of there because I was afraid that if I spent any more time there I'd start voting democrat!

They had organic beer.. that totally defeats the purpose of beer!

and they had no sliced cheese. My diet is built around sliced cheese! the closest thing they had was some sort of soy substitute.

You know, I live by the philosophy "Live Fast, Die young, and leave a beautiful corpse" without perservatives in all that Whole Food organic crap, how am I supposed to accomplish the 3rd part of my plan!?

I hear the current Kroger I live next door to will become an Aldi after the new Kroger (from what I hear, it will be the biggest in Ohio) is finished on the other side of the sawmill. I won't be able to continue my other philosophy "Only ever buy as much food as you can carry across the street" because aldi is one of these bulk places.

you don't just buy a box of cereal you buy a crate of it!

You don't buy ground beef there by the pound, you buy it by the metric ton!

It takes a forklift operator and three teamsters to load a package of Oreos into your cart!