Star Trek: validation for George W. Bush?

They are both constantly called “cowboy” as a derogatory term. They both have a father named George. They both are portrayed as party guys who can’t seem to grow up, and there are other similarities between President George W. Bush and Captain James T. Kirk.

In JJ Abrams latest movie “Star Trek” Kirk is very much a cowboy. He drinks, womanizes and gets into bar fights. It’s like he’s looking for trouble. He keeps finding it.

President George W. Bush was a known partier in college; he too seemed to find trouble. He’s even been known to pick a fight (with other countries).

Is Kirk based on Bush? It would almost seem so, if the Kirk character was not created in the 60’s. But this latest incarnation has traits that are hard to ignore.

It would almost seem so given the media hype trying to compare current President Obama with the cerebral Mr. Spock. One thing to point out about this comparison as it pertains to the movie: Mr. Spock was wrong!

A key debate in the film involves Kirk and Spock clashing over weather they should rejoin the fleet and seek assistance from the invading enemy, or fight them head-on. Without making too much of a stretch this is exactly the debate Bush had with the democrats in congress and the UN before invading Iraq. Only Kirk truly understood the motives and malicious intent of Nero's threat to Earth, and his solution was to fight.

Bush, after 9/11 knew that stopping terrorism inherently involved stopping the funding of terrorism by anti-American governments. This his validation of the Iraq war.

Opposing Kirk is Spock, who follows regulations to the T. His adherence to Starfleet code is logical except that there is no regard for the rules by the forces of evil in the film.

That being said, terror must be fought with the rules of terror, not by the rules of civilized people. Thus to save Earth, Kirk must take the enterprise to fight the evil Romulins instead of going back for more capable support, and leaving Earth defeseless.

[SPOILER AHEAD ]
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It is not a perfect analogy, but it does work on multiple levels, especially here. When Kirk finally offers to negotiate with Nero, the act of benevolence is not received. Instead Kirk must execute the only option he has left and kill the bad guy.

The analogy ends here. While Kirk is praised for his maverick actions and his cowboy attitude and thusly rewarded. Bush was hated. That is a strong word, but is very accurate. His opponents never come around to his way of thinking the way Star Fleet does in the film. Instead, even as the Bush Administration has come to an end, the attack on now private-citizen George W. Bush is not without pause.

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[ End Spoiler ]

Rewards are all to often given to those who seek them, that doesn’t make the real man less of a hero than the man of fiction.

My favorite Moments

Tonight, after eight years, two networks and a writer’s strike TV’s “Scrubs” came to an end.

While I was less than an occasional watcher of the series in it’s first few years, when the show went into syndication around 2006 I quickly fell in love with it and caught up with the history of the show.

Scrubs follows John “JD” Dorian (Zach Braff), he is a young doctor at Sacred Heart hospital. JD is prone to an inner monologue as well as fanciful daydreams, portrayed as cut-scene flashes on screen. In the first episode of the series JD going into his first day as an intern where he is informed by the chief of medicine that he is “just a large pair of scrubs to me.” Thus naming the show.

Scrubs was highly under-rated. Not only for it’s comedy, but also for being a show that actually openly discussed the issues in modern medicine. Not necessarily from a left or right perspective, but from the perspective of the doctor. It is a comedy in a hospital, but it had a sense of legitimacy.

That being said, here are my ten favorite moments/episodes from the run of the series in no particular order.

My Overkill · Season 2, Episode 1 – Aired: 9/26/2002
This episode features a great opening sequence in JD’s Daydream where he is avoiding Dr. Cox after it is learned he slept with his ex-wife, as well as other strained relationships after the end of the previous season. The avoidance sequence is set to the song “Overkill” by Collin Hay, formerly of Men at Work.

My Lunch · Season 5, Episode 20 – Aired: 4/25/2006
J.D. asks Dr. Cox out for lunch but runs into annoying former patient Jill Tracy, who unexpectedly teaches him something about responsibility. Jill dies and her organs are used to treat three of Dr. Cox’s other patients. Unfortunately the disease that kills Jill is passed on to the organ recipients and Dr. Cox takes it very personally. In the follow-up episode Dr. Cox is in deep depression and drinking heavily. It is up to the rest of the cast to get him back to work.

My Musical · Season 6, Episode 6 – Aired: 1/18/2007
A new patient at the hospital wakes up and sees everything happening around her as a musical. The music is catchy, and the story is a bit silly, but we finally get an explanation of JD and Turk’s relationship in the number “Guy Love”

My Way Home · Season 5, Episode 7 – Aired: 1/24/2006
In a "Wizard of Oz" homage, J.D. is trying to go home, Turk searches for a heart donor and Carla worries that she doesn't have the courage to become a parent. Meanwhile, Elliot doesn't believe that she has the brains to lead a question and answer session. The Janitor is painting color coded lines throughout the hospital for easier navigation. The episode ends with Ted’s band singing a beautiful rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”

My Screw Up · Season 3, Episode 14 – Aired: 2/24/2004
Dr. Cox learns that his brother-in-law Ben (Brenden Frasier) hasn't visited a doctor about his cancer in the two years he has been gone traveling the world. Ben dies after the first commercial, but the episode is set up so that all scenes with Ben are actually a mental breakdown suffered by Dr. Cox. It is not until the final scene that the viewer realizes exactly when Ben died.

My Monster · Season 2, Episode 10 – Aired: 12/12/2002
The episode ends with Elliot and JD hooking up, albeit for the second time. But it is a great sex scene, for a comedy, for TV, with some great music behind it.

My Choosiest Choice of All · Season 3, Episode 19 – Aired: 4/20/2004
Actually not one of the best episodes, but the musical number at the end, "Light & Day" by The Polyphonic Spree, inspired me to use the same song in my own engagement announcement (http://adventuresofandy.blogspot.com/2008/08/great-moments.html)

My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby · Season 6, Episode 2 – Aired: 12/7/2006
I love this episode because in one of JD’s daydreams he ends up debating abortion with a statuette of Jesus come to life. The statuette wins!

My Long Goodbye (2) · Season 6, Episode 15 – Aired: 4/5/2007
In an episode that has the emotional depth of a series finale we see Nurse Roberts pass away after a car accident. The rest of the cast must reflect on her influence on them.

My Finale, Part 1/2 · Season 8, Episode 18 – Aired: 5/6/2009
It is rare than any series finale of a long-running show makes the list anyone’s top episodes, but while it was stretched out to a full hour, it was well worth it. Three things make this episode great. First, and most importantly was Dr. Cox giving a touching speech on what JD actually meant to him. Next was the farewell walk of JD as he left Sacred Heart forever. Current and former cast members greeted him, including former patients and deceased characters. Finally as a farewell to the fans Ted’s band (affectionately knows as “The Worthless Peeons”) performs the show’s theme song a capella. Few shows have finales that life up to the reputation that gave them such a long run. For Scrubs this finale surpassed it!

Can this be filed under “saving the relationship?”

I couldn’t do it… I just couldn’t bring myself to watch the Obama Press conference last night. Not only did President Obama call a press conference to basically say that after one hundred days in office, he has not been impeached, no states have seceded from the union and there have been no attacks from invading armies… yet.

I’ve been at my job for well more than 100 days. Do I get a press conference?

But I did not watch because Krystle came over after her workout with her trainer and as we do on Wednesdays, have dinner and watch Lost. That’s another thing that upset me about this press conference. Sure I’m willing to skip an episode in the final season of Scrubs, only to watch it online later. But do NOT preempt LOST! I swore if I did have to miss Lost I would run against Obama in 2012 on that platform… That and the Fair Tax.

A typical occurrence when Obama is on TV is me sitting there engaged in debate with the president. He seems to ignore my rebuttal but somehow I usually end up ahead on points. Krystle has threatened to make me go downstairs and play Mario Kart on the Wii if I don’t stop. But since the Wii is at her house I decided to just not catch up on some unwatched shows on my DVR.

Tonight’s selection: GI Joe Resolute. This may be the GI Joe cartoon I’ve waited my whole life to see. It is definitely grown up from the 80’s cartoon, which by todays standards may be a little cheesy, so not much of a cheese factor here. But plenty of blood and guts, and even a few good guys not surviving the experience. Basically a globetrotting animated 24 that doesn’t take place in real time. Of course I’m not the first person to compare GI Joe to 24. Wizard Magazine once said “GI Joe makes the spies on 24 look like CIA washouts!”

The action is similar to the comic books, specifically the more recent Devil’s Due Publishing run, though this is an original story. The cast is mostly original. The voice acting was pretty good, but how great would it have been to reassemble the original cast. Yes I know there are cast members who have passed away so that is impossibility.

The animation was updated for the 21st century as well. The character models seem to be built on a hybrid Japanese/American style of animation. It works well.

The story is solid, works in some cool military sci-fi gadgets but does go PC in a couple places. Sure Scarlet, one of the few female Joes comes out of a fight unscathed while her male partner takes a non-lethal bullet. Also the Dialtone character is reprised as a woman. Not a mainstream enough character to be as offensive as Battlestar Galactica’s reprising of Starbuck as a woman, but sill a change nonetheless.

We finished with GI Joe at about 8:53 in time to hear President Obama give the final answer of his press conference. After a couple minutes I asked, “Is he just talking to hear himself talk?” as his words lacked clear cohesion of thought. After the president left the podium ABC’s Charlie Gibson gave a synopsis of the event calling the most interesting question: “What has surprised you the most? Humbled you the most? Enchanted you the most?”

I didn’t know People Magazine covered presidential press conferences. I did learn this morning that question was asked by a New York Times reporter.

Enchanted, really?

If journalism isn’t already dead, it’s on life-support and that reporter just pulled the plug!

I’ll take my chances

Swine flu, the world-ending crisis-of-the-week, seems to have captured the attention, hearts and imagination of the global reporting community. I especially mean the part about capturing the imagination.

Wile hundreds of reported cases are confirmed, a representative of the WHO has said that there are only seven confirmed deaths, not the more than 150 figure that was previously thrown around.

I am one person, there are seven reported deaths. There are well more than six billion people on the planet.

That works out to about a one in 857,142,857chance of dying from this “pandemic”. Or as Porky Pig might say:

“One in eight hudre… ba de, eight hundred fifty-seven mil, ba de, one in eight… a really big number.”

That makes this about the least likely cause of death in the world right now.

I think I’ll be okay on my own, Mr. President, and I don’t need the government coming in to take over the healthcare industry because of this perceived crisis.

That being said, I suddenly feel better about the bacon I had for breakfast today.

Why my fiancé can now never be Miss USA

...Okay, besides the fact that she’s going to be a Mrs. before the next pageant.

Sunday the goal was to be home by 7:00 so Krystle could watch the Miss USA pageant. We got there in the nick of time and as soon as the contestants were introduced Krystle was barking at the girls in their bikinis. “Eat a cheeseburger!” “Look at her walk it’s too stiff” “Tone up your legs!”

This is the same woman who yells at me to go downstairs and play Mario Kart when I start debating with the man giving the State Of The Union Address!

Irony!

Of course, little did we know that politics was about to enter the pageant with the final question for Miss California. She was asked about her views on gay marriage by openly gay celebrity bloger Perez Hilton.

Before I quote her answer a little recent history is called for. This past November when it seemed that left wing radical ideals were all the rage across the country, the blue state of California had a gay marriage proposal on the ballot. That issue went down like a Led Zeppelin. It wasn’t even close! Since then there have been attempts to subvert democracy and institutionalize gay marriage via courts. This is the epitome of what is meant by a vocal minority. And a vocal minority that enforces its values on a silent majority is called fascism.
Now that we have established the views of the minority and majority of Californians on this issue it should come as no surprise that a randomly selected citizen of the golden state would statistically fall in the majority.

So what was Perez Hilton so upset about when his question received the following answer:

“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you
know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a
marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there,
but that's how I was raised.”

Kudos to Miss Carrie Prejean for standing up for what you believe. Double kudos to your parents for raising you right. And a final round of kudos for exposing the Miss USA pageant for what it is: an agenda-driven leftist biased all lefties club where even if you have the best body, best smile, best walk and best answers, if you don’t agree with what the judges personal bias you not only will not win the crown, the judge will lambaste you on his blog.

But not this blog; here we like you, Carrie. You may never get that national crown, but you’re a voice for all those tea partiers out there! And yes, my fiancé, who competed for Miss Ohio a year ago, would have given a very similar answer.

Running the numbers

President Obama has called for $100 million in cuts from the 3.5 trillion dollar budget.

Let’s look at these numbers next to each other

......$100,000,000.00 in cuts from
$3,500,000,000,000.00 federal budget.

Let’s put it this way. If the entire federal budget were one dollar, then you would have to make that cut 350 times before you would have cut one full penny from the budget.

In other words, Obama has successfully called for cutting one thirty-five thousandth of the budget.

And you wonder why people are assembling in masses to protest this reckless spending!

What kind of job would you do for $500,000?

This week President Obama suggested that financial firms taking federal bailout money cap their executive pay at a half million dollars per year.

This is what economists call a price ceiling. What happens when you have a price ceiling is that prices automatically go to that level. So now that all bailed-out banks will have half-millionaire CEO’s what is the incentive to be a bank executive when you could be an executive of a less-regulated industry.

A paycheck is essentially a bribe to get you to do something you would otherwise not do. Most people would rather sleep in, take a relaxing drive to the gym, read a good book, catch up on Lost and eat out at expensive restaurants, rather than sit in a monochrome cubicle for eight hours strait.

By capping executive salaries, or any salaries for that matter, you will have the most talented executives leaving the banking industry for more lucrative careers where earning potential will not be limited.

Inversely when you can only pay an executive a mere 500 large, you get a 500k executive. Okay, let’s put that in some more scaled down terms if you actually think that $500,000 is a lot of money.

If you ran a restaurant and you were only going to pay your cook $1 per hour that he worked how good of a cook do you think you would get? Sure you would get the Wolfgang Puck of most third-world countries for that rate, but for our little example let’s assume your restaurant is somewhere in North America.

The answer is that you would get either no one willing to do the job for that amount or someone so terrible at their job that they are only worth one dollar per hour.

An executive worth only $500,000 in our society is a pretty bad executive. This would lead to a talent vacuum in the financial markets which would put them in further disarray, leading to more government intervention, regulation and socialization of our private sector. Then again, that’s probably just Obama’s master plan.

Please consider the economy before printing THIS blog

It has come to my attention no less than twice since posting my previous post on environmental stimulus, that my theory would more immediately and more importantly help the economy.

Oh, if you haven’t read my previous post it’s right here. No, take your time, I’ll be here when you get back.

Okay now that you’ve gone back and read what I wrote earlier this week we can now move forward.

When I printed that email, which I did so in order to perform a task at my job, I was creating economic growth. By doing my job, my company is able to complete it’s stated mission, by completing their mission they can make a profit. When making a profit the shareholders get a dividend and the stock price goes up and more people are employed, and they print out emails that go on to save the planet.

I just realized that in one run-on-sentence I summed up an entire semester of Environmental Economics.

The point is, the environment and economic prosperity are not mutually exclusive. Sure the environmentalists believe so, but that’s because their real agenda is as much government regulation on business as possible. And it’s impossible for an individual, company or society to grow its way out of heavy restraints, let alone prosper!

Please consider the environment before printing blog

Today I received an email at work that, in tiny little green letters at the bottom of the message read “Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail”.

So I printed it.

And yes I considered the environment. So assuming trees are good for the environment I helped plant a tree today by printing this email.

If I print the email, then my company needs to order more paper. If we order more paper then somebody needs to produce more paper. If the paper company is to produce more paper they need to get more raw materials, i.e. trees. To get more trees they need to call the lumberjack to cut some down. And because the lumberjack doesn’t want to go out of business, he will plant a brand new tree.

I helped the environment by printing out this goofball’s email!

If you are reading this blog, please hold down the “Ctrl” key and then press the “P” key. If you are reading a printout of this blog, please find your nearest copy machine and make a copy.

The environment needs our help. We must all do our part!

I’m still alive!

Okay it’s been a while… it’s not that I haven’t been expressing myself online, you can check me out at examiner.com where I’m the Buckeye Examiner (and there’s cash involved too!)

But a lot has happened since my celebrity sightings… Obama won turning us potentially into the USSA.

The wedding planning is ongoing, when I get a chance to update it I’ll have our wedding blog site up and running.

Krystle and mom bonded over black Friday shopping. I was scheduled to join them but at the last minute my Jack Bauer approach to shopping probably caused my invitation to be rescinded. Remember I as a man I don’t browse products to buy I hunt for them and with laser guided focus I ignore all other sales. I was planning itineraries, charts and cell phone logistics to maximize the potential for black Friday deals.

This is not how a woman shops.

But wouldn’t it be great if one season of 24 took place on black Friday? The following takes place between 6:00 Am and 7:00 AM

Phone rings
Chloe
Jack, you have to get out of Best Buy, the Wii’s just got restocked at Wal Mart.

Jack
Chloe, there’s no time!

That would probably get more women to watch the show.

Celebrity Sightings

It’s funny how you can spot a famous person you’re note expecting to see. Friday night I was with my fiancé, Krystle, who was working a Corona promotion. Normally I only drink Corona once a year on May 5th, but to support her cause I made an exception.
The promotion took place at a bar near Campus. Being a warm enough night there was lots of activity on the patio and many, many students wandering the sidewalk. Amongst the students of varying levels of clothing quality and inebriation I spotted an older gentleman with a bow tie. No not my dad, but the rock star of college presidents, Ohio State’s own G. Gordon Gee.

The thing about Dr. Gee is that he’s popular among students. I’m not sure if they just think he’s the guy who has those late-night tv commercials about money from the government, but he was swarmed by young buckeyes and posed for pictures and shook hands with as many as came up to him.

Then, and more importantly, on Sunday Krystle and I were in southern Ohio at the Bob Evan’s festival. I had asked a bean vendor (yes, a bean vendor!) where she got her McCain/Palin button. She said they were ordered online and there was no [official] GOP presence there (I did count about a half-dozen t-shirts supporting the republican ticket). The lady did inform me that Sarah Palin may be speaking at the Gallipolis Wal Mart. I told Krystle and said we should try and go, since we had to head that way anyway to pick up a camera.

Without any solid plans to attend Gov. Palin’s rally we were a few blocks away when we saw a motorcade of police motorcycles. Krystle tells me “We don’t have police like that around here!”

That’s when I spotted a bus coming around the corner. “That’s the Strait talk express!” I shouted.
Krystle said for me to roll down the window, which I had temporally forgotten how to do in the excitement.

I leaned into my car horn and held a big thumb up out the window while Krystle yelled “WE LOVE YOU SARAH!!!”

No word on if the VP candidate heard us but the bus driver waved at me!

Right now the DJIA is at 8,303.44

As of this post the Dow Jones Industrial Average is 8,303.44. This is roughly half of its all-time high.

At this point it's important to remember my Finance professor from college who once told me "We will likely see the Dow hit 20,000 in our lifetime [this was right around the time it hit 10,000 for the first time], but we might see 6 along the way."

This is a trend, just like that 90's dotcom boom. The thing about trends is that they are pretty consistent right up until they end.

It's Getting Nasty... Nasty Funny!

Political name calling happens in every election... but this year the theme is definitely "Same Circus, Different Clowns"

Well here's a brief synopsis of some back-and-forth.

Palin: "(A small town mayor) is kind of like being a community organizer, but with actual responsibility."

Obama Supporters: "Jesus was a Community Organizer, Pilate was a Governor"

Now asside for historical/theological inaccuracies, but honestly, how often do liberals really read the Bible and keep it in context.

Sure, Pilate was a governor, but it was Jesus' own people (the Jews) who condemned him. Pilate was just under pressure from Rome to not loose control of Judea. When Jesus came in with his ideals that upset the existing Jewish status-quo (kind of like Palin in the Alaskan political system) it was the Jewish Leadership who wanted him killed. Pilate offered them Barabbas, a convicted murderer, but mob rule demanded Jesus be crucified...

Okay that was a long-winded explanation for something that all worked out in the end, but I think the best way to say it is:

"I know Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ is a friend of mine. Barack Obama, you're no Jesus Christ!"

In the name of Obama, Amen

Last week Republican Presidential Nominee, John McCain, decided that while he’s locked up the moderate and crossover Democrat vote, he might want to consider working on the Republican vote. This was the determining factor in his choosing pro-life, gun-shooting, animal-killing, oil-drilling, free-market-loving Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidential Nominee.

Psst, Sarah Palin is a girl!

Now this prompted me to notice that Democratic nominee Barack Obama seems to have constant woman issues, first it was Hillary, now it’s this feisty Alaskan babe.

Since it seems to be Women who keep getting in Barack’s way, what would his response be to such opposition. I created the following phony Obama ad and posted it on Rupart Murdoch owned Myspace, specifically sending it to a few Obama-supporting friends.



The replies back were stunning…

First, a girl:
“That’s what I’m talking about… no girls!”

And a Canadian:
“If I were American I would (vote for Obama)…”

Now that I’ve back-handedly stated that Obama Supporters are trampling on the woman’s movement on the way to the Whitehouse, the Obama Supporters just don’t see it like that. To them anything done in the name of Obama is good. From his stance of infanticide to his acceptance as the party’s nominee in front of a Julius Caesar-like Roman Coliseum. It appears you can do anything in front of an Obama supporter when you pretend to be one of them.

Great Moments...

At this point you know as much as I do!

Off to Orlando

"I always have a plan"

In the news:Biggest Celebrity in the World Edition

This is my rundown of the biggest celebrities in the world:

Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Ad
Hilton released a Web video of her own Tuesday saying her inclusion in McCain’s ad must mean she’s running for president.
The tongue-in-cheek video is laced with age-based insults. Hilton may not be known for her trenchant wit, but the two-minute spot is a satirical blend — part “Daily Show,” part “Legally Blonde.”

So if Paris has to respond to the McCain ad comparing Barak Obama to her, this
must mean that she doesn’t want to be associated with Obama. Or maybe she’s just
upset that she’s no longer considered the biggest celebrity in the world.

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McCarthy: Favre not ready to play for Packers
Speaking publicly for the first time about his series of meetings with Favre, Green Bay head coach Mike McCarthy said the quarterback was not in the "proper mindset" to continue as a member of the team.

Well with the way Brett has been bellyaching about wanting to play again his
mindset must be that he’s the biggest celebrity in the world!

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Olsen seeks immunity over Ledger
Actress Mary-Kate Olsen will not speak to investigators about Heath Ledger's death unless she is granted immunity from prosecution.

An official said the 22-year-old wants the assurance before speaking to the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA).

Olsen was the first person contacted by the masseuse who discovered Ledger's body. Her lawyer said she has told the authorities all she knows.

Ah the plight of being the most wanted celebrity in the world and having to deal
with the deadest celebrity in the world! It could be worse. These two could be
the biggest celebrities in the world.

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Poll: Nearly half hearing too much about Obama
With Election Day still three months away, 48 percent said they're hearing too much about the Democratic candidate, according to a poll released Wednesday by the nonpartisan Pew Research Center. Just 26 percent said the same about his Republican rival, John McCain.

Much like Paris, Brittney, Brett Favre, The Oleson Twins, Mylie Cyrus, P
Diddy, and anyone else that has been over-exposed by People Magazine, it’s not
long before people get fed up by the Biggest Celebrity in the World.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame...

Take me out to the ballgame… That simple song about rooting for the home team, eating peanuts and cracker-jack and counting the outs with the umpire is a true reflection of the innocence and simple pleasure of watching baseball. That song alone may be what separates baseball from the other major sports. But shouldn’t other sports have songs too?

Football:

Take me out to see football
Take me out with the crowd, that has been drinking beer in the parking lot since 5 AM this morning
Buy me a six dollar hot-dog
I won’t get any change back
So let’s root, root, root for the home team
If they don’t win they’re out of the playoffs and may move to another city.
For it’s 1, 2, 3, player convictions
At the Football game!

Basketball:
Take me out to see Basketball
Take me out with the crowd of celebrities in the front row while the rest of us are stuck in the nosebleed seats
Buy me a replica jersey of the guy who just got injured
I don’t care if he ever comes back
So let’s root root root for the home team
If they don’t win the refs probably have the game fixed
For it’s one, two, three steps and no travel called
At the Basketball game!

Hockey:
Take me out to see Hockey
Take me out with the crowd
Buy me something to throw at the penalty box
I don’t care that the game isn’t being shown on TV
So let’s root root root for the home team
Just hoping they don’t strike again
For it’s one-two-three teeth knocked out in the hockey fight!

Soccer:
Take me out to see Soccer
Take me out with the crowd of ninteen
Buy me the jersey of some European team
I don’t care that nobody here speaks English
So let’s root root root for the home team
If they don’t win there will be a riot
For it’s 1, 1, 1 goal score
in this whole damn game!

In The News

Seriously, I haven’t done one in entirely too long….

Gore urges U.S. to have carbon-free power in decade
http://www.star-telegram.com/869/story/766574.html
WASHINGTON — Former Vice President Al Gore urged the United States on Thursday to convert the nation’s entire electricity grid to carbon-free energy within 10 years, warning that drastic steps are needed to avoid a global economic and ecological cataclysm.

I haven't picked on Mr. Gore in a while, but this is just too easy: Gore plans on helping this along by using up all the fossil fuels by flying all over the world making these statements in his personal private jet.

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FDA gives all-clear on tomatoes, not peppers
Jalapeno, serrano varieties focus of salmonella hunt
WASHINGTON — The Food and Drug Administration declared on Thursday that it is again safe to eat all tomatoes now on sale in the U.S., canceling its warning in June that some tomatoes were the cause of a still-unsolved outbreak of salmonella poisoning.

This further proves my theory that Al-Quaeda is trying to kill us with Salsa!

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Britney Spears gives sole custody to Kevin Federline. For now.
isn't she dead yet?

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reportedly reached a settlement in their acrimonious 1½-year-long court battle over custody of their two sons.

Federline has sole custody of Preston, 2, and Jayden, 1. And Spears keeps her current status of two visits and one overnight per week.

We all knew Britney was a bad parent, but how bad was she that these kids are better off with the jagdork willing to marry her! Reportedly the chidren get along with K-Fed’s illegitimate child he conceived just before marrying the pop star.

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Starbucks identifies stores slated for closure
No coffee no peace, know coffee know peace?
Coffee chain to shutter more than 600 stores in response to slowing sales, sluggish economy.
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Starbucks Corp. released a list Thursday of the 616 company-owned stores it will shutter by the first half of 2009.

The closures accompany planned layoffs of 12,000 workers. Starbucks currently operates 7,087 stores in the U.S.

Can we blame the coffee bean speculators for keeping the prices high? Or is it just the CEO’s of Big Coffee? Maybe it's a supply and demand problem with the growth of Chinese coffee drinkers. It's actually because Gas prices so high people are choosing to fill up their car than their mug. Now every one of those pansy-assed late-sipping New York Times reading, Ed Hardy wearing pseudo-sophisticated coffee shop socialites now have a reason to expand offshore drilling too!

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Playing the Brett Favre Lottery (revised)

Here's a list of every NFL team and the likelihood that one of them will sign Brett favre. Given Favre only wants to start, he really wants to win, and there are salary cap issues to consider. Of course with two years left on his contract the Green Bay Packers aren't just going to let him go to any team who needs an experienced quality quarterback. So assuming the Packers do make a trade, this is a list of teams the Packers are most likely to deal with.

Buffalo	****	It's as cold as Green Bay, and they probably have the salary room
Kansas City	***	Does this team even have a quarterback right now?
New York Jets	***	He's a country boy at heart, but we know he looks good in green
Tampa Bay	***	John Gruden loves Quarterbacks and would probably be willing to sign Favre
Carolina	***	Given how banged up they were under center last year you may have John Fox's attention
Washington	***	Could happen, and this team does like to finagle with salary cap numbers
Seattle	***	Reunion with Holmgren? And Hasslebeck has experience backing up #4.Okay realistically this should only be a 1-2 star ranking, but a guy can dream can't he?
Baltimore	***	When you spend your first pick on Joe Falco, Favre for a year could be an upgrade. Then again after seeing Steve McNair last year Baltimore may be the new place Quarterbacks go to die.
Houston	**	Matt Schaub was an upgrade from the perpetually sacked David Carr, however Favre would be a better upgrade… if he can be protected
Denver	**	Willing to look into Favre's glucose levels
Miami	**	Would be a good one-year mentor for rookie draft pick Chad Henne
Atlanta	**	Yes, but only if he's an animal lover!
San Francisco	**	This would make Joe Montana the second best QB to have played in the City by the Bay
Cincinnati	*	Carson Palmer is still the starter, but depending on how this plays out, Palmer may be taking notes on how to get a new team.
Tennessee	*	Only if Vince young is willing to switch to slot receiver
San Diego	*	It really doesn't matter who the QB is here as long as LaDanian Tomlinson is healthy
Oakland	*	This is JaMarcus Russell's year… to finally see a down
St. Louis	*	Probably looking more to the future than giving a semi-retired all-star another shot
Pittsburgh		Just resigned Ben, not looking for another starter
Cleveland		Just hoping to avoid a QB controversy without a future hall-of-famer stirring the pot
Indianapolis		They should just rename this team the "Peyton Mannings"
Jacksonville		After David Garrard's unbelievably low interception numbers, he's under center for the foreseeable future
New England		Two words: Tom Brady
Green Bay		Hell no!
Detroit		Traded out of the division before this happens
Minnesota		Traded out of the division before this happens
Chicago		Sacralige!
New Orleans		Of all the offensive tools this team needs, Quarterback is not one of them
Dallas		Can you say Tony Romo?
New York Giants		Only Baltimore is stupid enough to replace a quarterback the year after winning a superbowl
Phillidelphia		How's Brett's 40? What this team really needs is another receiver.
Arizona		Already has one old guy who thinks he's better than the young hot-shot.

Of course there are other factors, that could be used to further wittle down this list. It's unlikely that the Packers would deal with another playoff team in the NFC. They definately will NOT deal with any team in the NFC North. Finally the Packers definately won't deal with a team on their 2008 schedule. That discounts the following teams:

Detroit
Dallas
Tampa
Atlanta
Seattle
Indianapolis
Tennessee
Minnesota
Chicago
New Orleans
Carolina
Houston
Jacksonville

But what happens if Favre goes to a mediocre team and after 8 weeks, it gets colder the practices are harder and he's looking at a 4-4 record at best? Does Brett remember that he said he still wanted to play but wasn't willing to put in the work? Has he taken an attitude that the NFL is all about him and what he wants, and then just screws a team by re-retiring midseason?