The First Lady went to Spain

- to the tune of “Never been to Spain” by 3 Dog Night

The First lady went Spain
And forty friends went with her
I hear they all went insane there
Financed by the tax payer
During a recession
Adds to my depression
Feels like oppression

Now take the guy from England
He’s got some wherewithal
When he headed for the US
Decided to fly commercial
Saved some moulah
That’s so cool, Michelle
Could take a lesson
…Take a lesson

Well, I never been to Harvard
But I’ve taken Economics
They told me not to overspend
Because it causes deficits
On the budget
They’re in the red, by
A trillion dollars!
A trillion dollars!


Lyrics by Andy Zoric

Illegal Immigration to Oklahoma, not Arizona, what does it matter?

The democrats are politicizing this issue for entirely the wrong reason, but are somehow have found themselves on the right side of the issue.

Illegal immigration is a problem in Arizona and here are my thoughts on the law (without having been able to find a full text copy of the bill, and having read multiple summaries from news sites).

The law states that if you are suspected of a crime by police in Arizona, and you are proven to not be either an American Citizen or a legal immigrant then you are deported, or you could receive some more sever punishment than otherwise.

This is a great law if you operate under the assumption that everyone coming into this country illegally is doing so just to commit crimes in a new land.

This is not the case. This has never been the case with immigration, and for much of the history immigrants built this country. Our best days were the days of the melting pot where people of many nationalities came to be American, and as the integration of the Italians, Polish, British, Jewish and Spanish cultures happened over a few generations the early history of America, so will the integration of Mexican people.

Immigration is similar to gun control, in that when you make guns illegal, then anyone with a gun becomes illegal by proxy. The immigration standards to get into the US are so strict that it becomes less of a hassle to sneak in through wilderness and risking life and limb to get here rather than go through the legal process. You have essentially made immigration illegal and the only way for most Mexicans to migrate is to do so illegally!

Now that I've said that: HOW EFFIING BAD IS IT IN MEXICO THAT YOU ARE WILLLING TO GO THROUGH THAT MUCH TROUBLE TO BREAK FEDERAL LAW?!

There is a fact that anytime you have an expatriate settlement in a new land a certain criminal element comes with it. But that is always the minority. There are others that are slow to acclimate themselves to a new culture, think of it as the 80/20 rule.

Generally speaking I think you will end up with mostly the criminal element being dealt with by this Arizona law. Therefore, if you operate under the premise that existing immigration policy is good and just then this law, which empowers local law enforcement to enforce existing immigration law, is just fine and dandy.

Still you have a bulk of them trying to find a better life here than they would otherwise have had back home.

Also, one factor you have here is that there is a state’s rights issue here. If Arizona wants to limit immigration, they, under the 10th amendment should have that right. Texas has a very well used death penalty, Massachusetts does not. Does Boston have more violent crime than Austen? I don’t know off the top of my head, but people have the right to choose their state’s laws, and 71% of Arizona voters want this.

What the Democrats have done to politicize the issue is to make insinuations of race upon anyone who does not support amnesty (Reagan supported amnesty because let's face it, there are better ways to spend the federal budget without raising taxes). But the Democrats want to give something to the Hispanic population, a significantly sized minority, in exchange for expanding the voter base in their favor.

Why? Because in the current political climate they can't win without bribing voters, and anyone who opposes them is going to be called a racist!

Therefore the Democrats have the right idea, yet for the wrong reason. But it goes beyond that. Mexican-Americans are generally Christian (mostly Catholic), pro life, anti gay marriage, believe in strong family values... Essentially members of the religious right! And a generation away from outnumbering blacks as the largest minority in the US. The Hispanic vote is why the ballot initiative for gay marriage in California failed. Did you hear me: GAY MARRIAGE FAILED IN CALIFORNIA!!!

The real solution is to make the immigration process less cumbersome, give these people tax ID's and when they see all those deductions on their paychecks then they'll continue to vote Republican!

So here I am agreeing in practice with the Democrats, but not on principle!

Life imitates art? Or Who got it backwards?

Hi!

Remember me? It’s been a while.

But here goes.

I hear President Obama is set to make an appearance on next week’s episode American Idol. The episode is entitled “Idol gives back” and is a charity fundraiser that to date has provided millions in funding for deserving organizations.

Now for the funny part…

Dennis Quaid probably could have made dozens of movies in the past decade playing caricatures of George W. Bush. Naturally, he bears a slight resemblance to the 43th president though slightly more macho looking. Come to think of it, he’s probably more suited to play former Florida Governor, Jeb Bush. But I digress.

Quaid probably didn’t want to be forever type cast as a bumbling commander in chief and wanted the opportunity to play more serious roles, like the commanding officer in “GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra” so he really only satirized President Bush twice. The least memorable of which was a movie called “American Dreamz.”

American Dreamz, from what I recall from the previews (I, like 99% of everybody never actually saw the movie) an unpopular president, who just isn’t that smart, is set up by his staff to appear on a popular music talent show. I swear I am not making it up, you can see all the details here on IMDB.

Normally here I would say something like “You can’t make this stuff up!” But someone obviously did, but I’m not sure what the appropriate phrase is when something so improbable happens in real life that is right out of the plot of a horrible movie? Now we have another unpopular president who seems to have no idea how our economy works, and less of an idea how to fix it now seems to need to be seen on one of the most popular shows just so somebody will applaud when he is speaking. I only wish I were making this stuff up!

There is no doubt that people who make movies are overwhelmingly of the liberal nature. And anyone who has ever spoken to a liberal knows that it’s not just opinion, it’s a consuming mindset. While it is highly unlikely that the makers of “American Dreamz” and Obama’s cabinet are the same people we do know their brain’s work the same way.

Do they really think this will help the president? If it does we could see Obama in a lot more Prime Time situations.

“2 and a Half Men”
Charlie meets the President in a bar they get to talking and after breaking the seal Charlie complains about a burning sensation. After more conversation about Charlie’s lifestyle Barack tells him that it’s probably Gonorrhea and he can get it cured in 3 years once the healthcare bill goes into full swing.

“Undercover Boss”
President Obama works the assembly line at a GM plant. Cars fall apart faster than the US Economy.

“House”
Obama goes in for a checkup, and Dr. House is worried that once Obamacare becomes available to all Americans nobody will ever need a doctor again. Obama consoles House by saying he will meet all sorts of new and interesting people in the unemployment line!

“24”
Jack Bauer gets shot, President Obama uses the power of Obamacare to heal him.

“Lost”
Obama travels to an alternate timeline where he is still senator, Mitt Romney is president, the American economy is strong, energy independent, and is winning in Iraq and Afghanistan. Obama then tries to nuke the island so he can realign the universe.

It just occurred to me that my description of Lost makes no sense if you haven’t been watching for 6 years!

Who would have thought that going Rogue would involve so many lines?

In Columbus Ohio there is something special about the second Friday in November. Everyone is in their scarlet and/or gray. There is a vibe about the city as we collectively gather our concious toward the united goal of seeing the Ohio State Buckeyes defeat that team up north. Yesterday was that day, and I was a part of the biggest crowd in the city. Yet there were no cries of "O-H!" nor the expected replies of "I-O!" No band played "We Don't Give A Damn For The Whole State of Michigan" and the next victory we were all rallying for was change in leadership in congress. I am a Buckeye fan, but today I am more excited because I might get to meet the biggest celebrity in the country: Sarah Palin.

On Monday, the day before her book, "Going Rogue" was released, I just happened to catch the news saying that Sarah would be signing her book at the Borders on Sawmill Road. This particular store is only a couple miles from my house so I cleared it with work to stand in line by taking half the day off. The plan was to get in line around noon and be part of the masses who can't get enough of the conservative governor. That was plan A.

My plans started to change on Thursday night. After a workout at the gym my wife, a fan of standing in lines for limited quantities of things, especially on the third Friday in November agreed with me to check out the Borders and see what time I actually needed to get there. Krystle had a better instinct than I on scoping things out because when we got there roughly a day before the signing was scheduled to start there were already a handful of tents set up for people looking to spend the night on the sidewalk in front of the store to be the first in line to get the required wristband that gets you in to get the autograph... essentially these people were standing in line for the right to stand in line. My opinion on this subject comes from comedian Ron White who once said, "I wouldn't camp out all night if I was... camping!"

So we went home.

At this point I formulated plan C. I got up early, went to work then drove over to Borders at about 9 AM. The parking lot was filled... not just the parking lot for the book store, but the parking lot for the entire strip mall. I ended up parking across the street at Flanagan, a popular bar with sand volleyball courts. That parking lot was empty at 9 AM.

I did not realize exactly how long that line was, so when I parked across the street (unseen to the north on the photo) so I ended up walking the entire length of the line, with my book in hand, to it's end three quarters around the entire complex. This was a bit disheartening.

But I started talking to my fellow conservatives and making friends with them.

We were all in good spirits but rumors started working their way down the line that they were cutting the wristband from 1000 to 500 because Sarah is just not getting all the signing done.

We tried being optimistic despite being somewhere in the 700's.

Once the line started moving we felt like progress was being made. We eventually made it to just a few dozen yards from the front door, and that's when people started coming out telling us that there were no more wristbands left.

Slightly disheartened, but not defeated we said our goodbyes.

I went back to work having taken most of my half-day in the morning. I grabbed some lunch worked on some stored procedures and left around 3, came home and took a nap.

That evening after Krystle and I had dinner she wanted to run to the post office and Sam's Club. After that I said, let's just go to Borders and see what was going on? She couldn't believe how full the parking lot was (again, not the Borders parking lot but the lot for the whole strip mall). I made my way to the front doors of the store while Krystle looked for Rose Bowl shirts at Buckeye Corner. I was talking and joking with some other conservatives who had a group called "WALNUT" it was a spoof of ACORN. We talked for a bit when some activity started on the inside.

Sarah Palin was coming out to greet the crowd!

While that video was of low quality, it needs some explanation. The line at the front of the store was people who did not get wristbands but stood in line during the book signing anyway. Sarah herself came out, and unhooked the velvet rope that marked the beginning of the line. The harsh words you heard were probably the three protesters on the side.

Somehow I ended up in the mob that subsequently rushed into the doors, but because I was there on a whim and not as part of an official plan D I walked around the store, tried to get a photo, but it wasn't possible because Sarah was way in the back blocked off from lookie-loos like me.

I made a quick phone call and met up with Krystle... I didn't want to buy another book so we went home.... about a block from home I said, "Do you have your keys?" She said yes and I asked her to run in, grab my book while I turned the car around.

I was home and back in less than fifteen minutes and they let me back in line!

It looked like Plan E would be the one to work! Twelve hours later I'm back in line, but this time payoff is looking real.

Again, in good spirits, joking and having fun with the other conservatives around me I was not only in line, but only feet from the entrance to the bookstore... no, now I'm in the book store... They're telling me what page the governor will sign... It's really happening!

The line wound around the store and into a back part were curtians supported by pipes formed a make-shift room. An aide took my book while the governor shook my hand and signed it with a smile. Now my story of a long day can conclude with a happy ending.

So, these being the largest lines I have ever stood in, Sarah Palin is officially bigger than Star Wars Episode I. Sarah Palin draws Jim Tressle level crowds (that means something in this city). And if you can believe this, Sarah Palin is also WAYYYYYYY Better looking in person!

On the Issues in Ohio November 2009 – including casinos!

Issue 1: Veteran Compensation Fund

Issue 1 would authorize the state of Ohio to borrow and spend $200 million to "provide compensation to Ohio veterans of the Persian Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq conflicts, and to pay for the administration of the Persian Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq Conflicts Compensation Bond Retirement Fund and the Persian Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq Conflicts Compensation Fund." Veterans who served in the Persian Gulf, Iraq and Afghanistan would receive a $100 cash bonus for each month they served, not to exceed a total of $1,000 per veteran.

This is simple redistribution of wealth. Compounding this issue is that the state is bankrupt. And we are going to borrow more money? This inevitably results in higher taxes and a further corrosion of the Ohio economy in the long run.

I do support veterans. No price tag can ever be placed on their sacrifice. But it is important to remember that they do what they do in the name of freedom and liberty, not bureaucracy and red tape.

Andy votes NO!

Issue 2: Livestock Care Standards Board

The amendment proposes creating an Ohio Livestock Care Standards Board for the purpose of establishing standards governing the care of livestock and poultry.

Again, why would we create a new bureaucracy of state workers to provide quality assurance for an industry that has not had any substantial quality issues for over 200 years. Where does the money come from to pay for this? I’ll tell you were it’s not coming from: it’s not coming from the people who have already left Ohio’s confiscatory tax structure for more economically free states. That leaves the rest of us to foot the bill on this one.

There is already a system in place to keep Ohio farmers at the top of the food production industry. It’s called the free market. If Farmer Brown’s flock or herd is of poor quality, then the supermarket will purchase food from Farmer Jones. And that system doesn’t cost you anything in higher taxes… if anything it means the best quality food at the lowest prices because both farmers Brown and Jones are competing for the sale to the supermarket.

Andy votes NO!

Issue 3: Casinos (hold tight, this is a big one boys and girls)

Issue 3, if approved, will amend the Ohio Constitution to allow casinos in
Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus and Toledo.
A majority vote is required for initiative to be approved. A "yes" vote means voters approve of amending the Ohio Constitution to permit one casino each in Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, and Toledo.

My first objection to this is of a personal nature, and one of reverence to our system of government. I do not personally believe that amending the state constitution for something as trivial as to allow casino gambling is a valid enough reason to do so. The constitution of the state should only be amended for urgent or big issue items.

The arguments for are the arguments against:

While the Ohio Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) is in support of the casino initiative claiming there will be more jobs in the Buckeye State, their ulterior motive is that there will be a substantial crime increase surrounding the casinos. While profits from the casinos will go to the local government the FOP can request additional funding for police forces. Is creating more crime so that we can afford to further fund our police forces really the best way to provide security for our citizens? In fact that’s probably the worst way to do it. It is probably more proper to just stop funding the PR campaigns like “green” initiatives and “Commit To Be Fit” that in effect take money away from vital programs like police and fire departments and why cities are raising taxes.

Another argument for the casinos is that it keeps money in Ohio. Well, Indiana, Michigan and West Virginia all have casinos that Ohioans supposedly visit. By that logic nobody from those states will ever come to Ohio to gamble. Are there really enough Ohioans fleeing the state to support four casinos in Ohio? I’d like to see the market research numbers on that!

If that is the case then this state needs some serious gambling addiction counseling!

Remember those out-of-state casinos are profitable mostly because they have regional monopolies. Adding casinos in Ohio doesn’t necessarily mean that the same formula for success will happen here, but more likely you’ll just have a lot of less-successful places where gambling is allowed.

But the taxes will provide cities and counties with much needed revenue,right? Sure the casino tax rate will be the fourth highest in the country. THAT’S THE PROBLEM IN OHIO! Ohio is the forth highest taxed state in the country and thus jobs and people are fleeing Ohio for lower taxed states. If you tax the hell out of the casino it could potentially operate at a loss. If the Casino fails then we have more empty buildings in Ohio and none of the jobs that were promised.

There’s a lot of money going into a multimedia ad campaign selling Ohioans on this casino… but what if it doesn’t deliver what it promises? It’s possible. It happened in Pittsburgh which has an economy not unlike that of Cleveland or Cincinnati.

Remember: never trust a pushy salesman. They never really have your interest in mind.

Andy votes NO!

And if I were a member of ACORN I’d vote no six or eight times!

Breakin' the law: a how to guide for professional athletes

Please rank the following crimes in order of severity:

A) financing and taking part in a dog fighting operation

B) drunk driving and killing a pedestrian

C) accidentally shooting yourself in a nightclub

If you answered: A, C, B you are correct. But only in the case of an NFL athlete. If you look at the sentencing and subsequent fallout from each of these crimes then you have the following results:

For financing and taking part in a dog fighting operation you will be fired, spend eighteen months in jail had all your assets go to finance fighting dog rehabilitation and spend eighteen months in jail before having to go on a media tour just to get your job back.

For the heinous crime of being stupid enough to carry a loaded gun into a night club and shooting yourself by accident you would also be fired, and be sentenced up to two years in jail (potentially twenty months for good behavior).

Finally there is the case of the drunk driver who kills a man in Florida. For this you are fortunate enough to settle out of court for a six-figure sum and spend only thirty days in jail. You get unpaid time off of your job for a year, but it's still there for you when you come back. Yet you are the only one of this group to have actually taken another human life.


Michael Vick was essentially ruined, financially and publicly for being a jerk who doesn’t like animals.

Plaxico Burress did not even harm another living being and will be incarcerated for two years.

And Donte Stallworth gets off comparatively easily despite ending someone’s life.

If you've ever wondered why athletes get into trouble, trouble that most of us normal people cannot even consider, maybe it's because they are literally playing by a completely different set of rules.

Anything you can do I can do better -Bill Clinton and a blow to feminism (again?)

He was president, she was not
She is secretary of state… he gets hostages released.

While Hillary Clinton goes on late-night cable news shows and asks North Korea to “Call me” it is the former first lady’s husband that actually gets the job done.

Two American journalists were imprisoned in the communist quagmire of North Korea for asking questions that one does not ask of a dictator (Kind of like opposing socialized medicine). Their sentence of hard labor was thought inevitable given the appearent ineptitude of the secretary of state and her department.
But in on his white horse comes… a man!

Feminism has been dealt a severe blow. While the second female Secretary of State can’t get hostages delivered her husband (something no REAL feminist needs) gets the job done.

Well if these liberal feminists don’t work out, there’s a real woman who has stood up for her beliefs, and got to where she was not because she was rebelling against her husband but because of his support.

You expected maybe, Carrie Prejean? That might work too!

Drudge article:
CLINTON DELIVERS!

Star Trek: validation for George W. Bush?

They are both constantly called “cowboy” as a derogatory term. They both have a father named George. They both are portrayed as party guys who can’t seem to grow up, and there are other similarities between President George W. Bush and Captain James T. Kirk.

In JJ Abrams latest movie “Star Trek” Kirk is very much a cowboy. He drinks, womanizes and gets into bar fights. It’s like he’s looking for trouble. He keeps finding it.

President George W. Bush was a known partier in college; he too seemed to find trouble. He’s even been known to pick a fight (with other countries).

Is Kirk based on Bush? It would almost seem so, if the Kirk character was not created in the 60’s. But this latest incarnation has traits that are hard to ignore.

It would almost seem so given the media hype trying to compare current President Obama with the cerebral Mr. Spock. One thing to point out about this comparison as it pertains to the movie: Mr. Spock was wrong!

A key debate in the film involves Kirk and Spock clashing over weather they should rejoin the fleet and seek assistance from the invading enemy, or fight them head-on. Without making too much of a stretch this is exactly the debate Bush had with the democrats in congress and the UN before invading Iraq. Only Kirk truly understood the motives and malicious intent of Nero's threat to Earth, and his solution was to fight.

Bush, after 9/11 knew that stopping terrorism inherently involved stopping the funding of terrorism by anti-American governments. This his validation of the Iraq war.

Opposing Kirk is Spock, who follows regulations to the T. His adherence to Starfleet code is logical except that there is no regard for the rules by the forces of evil in the film.

That being said, terror must be fought with the rules of terror, not by the rules of civilized people. Thus to save Earth, Kirk must take the enterprise to fight the evil Romulins instead of going back for more capable support, and leaving Earth defeseless.

[SPOILER AHEAD ]
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It is not a perfect analogy, but it does work on multiple levels, especially here. When Kirk finally offers to negotiate with Nero, the act of benevolence is not received. Instead Kirk must execute the only option he has left and kill the bad guy.

The analogy ends here. While Kirk is praised for his maverick actions and his cowboy attitude and thusly rewarded. Bush was hated. That is a strong word, but is very accurate. His opponents never come around to his way of thinking the way Star Fleet does in the film. Instead, even as the Bush Administration has come to an end, the attack on now private-citizen George W. Bush is not without pause.

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[ End Spoiler ]

Rewards are all to often given to those who seek them, that doesn’t make the real man less of a hero than the man of fiction.

My favorite Moments

Tonight, after eight years, two networks and a writer’s strike TV’s “Scrubs” came to an end.

While I was less than an occasional watcher of the series in it’s first few years, when the show went into syndication around 2006 I quickly fell in love with it and caught up with the history of the show.

Scrubs follows John “JD” Dorian (Zach Braff), he is a young doctor at Sacred Heart hospital. JD is prone to an inner monologue as well as fanciful daydreams, portrayed as cut-scene flashes on screen. In the first episode of the series JD going into his first day as an intern where he is informed by the chief of medicine that he is “just a large pair of scrubs to me.” Thus naming the show.

Scrubs was highly under-rated. Not only for it’s comedy, but also for being a show that actually openly discussed the issues in modern medicine. Not necessarily from a left or right perspective, but from the perspective of the doctor. It is a comedy in a hospital, but it had a sense of legitimacy.

That being said, here are my ten favorite moments/episodes from the run of the series in no particular order.

My Overkill · Season 2, Episode 1 – Aired: 9/26/2002
This episode features a great opening sequence in JD’s Daydream where he is avoiding Dr. Cox after it is learned he slept with his ex-wife, as well as other strained relationships after the end of the previous season. The avoidance sequence is set to the song “Overkill” by Collin Hay, formerly of Men at Work.

My Lunch · Season 5, Episode 20 – Aired: 4/25/2006
J.D. asks Dr. Cox out for lunch but runs into annoying former patient Jill Tracy, who unexpectedly teaches him something about responsibility. Jill dies and her organs are used to treat three of Dr. Cox’s other patients. Unfortunately the disease that kills Jill is passed on to the organ recipients and Dr. Cox takes it very personally. In the follow-up episode Dr. Cox is in deep depression and drinking heavily. It is up to the rest of the cast to get him back to work.

My Musical · Season 6, Episode 6 – Aired: 1/18/2007
A new patient at the hospital wakes up and sees everything happening around her as a musical. The music is catchy, and the story is a bit silly, but we finally get an explanation of JD and Turk’s relationship in the number “Guy Love”

My Way Home · Season 5, Episode 7 – Aired: 1/24/2006
In a "Wizard of Oz" homage, J.D. is trying to go home, Turk searches for a heart donor and Carla worries that she doesn't have the courage to become a parent. Meanwhile, Elliot doesn't believe that she has the brains to lead a question and answer session. The Janitor is painting color coded lines throughout the hospital for easier navigation. The episode ends with Ted’s band singing a beautiful rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”

My Screw Up · Season 3, Episode 14 – Aired: 2/24/2004
Dr. Cox learns that his brother-in-law Ben (Brenden Frasier) hasn't visited a doctor about his cancer in the two years he has been gone traveling the world. Ben dies after the first commercial, but the episode is set up so that all scenes with Ben are actually a mental breakdown suffered by Dr. Cox. It is not until the final scene that the viewer realizes exactly when Ben died.

My Monster · Season 2, Episode 10 – Aired: 12/12/2002
The episode ends with Elliot and JD hooking up, albeit for the second time. But it is a great sex scene, for a comedy, for TV, with some great music behind it.

My Choosiest Choice of All · Season 3, Episode 19 – Aired: 4/20/2004
Actually not one of the best episodes, but the musical number at the end, "Light & Day" by The Polyphonic Spree, inspired me to use the same song in my own engagement announcement (http://adventuresofandy.blogspot.com/2008/08/great-moments.html)

My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby · Season 6, Episode 2 – Aired: 12/7/2006
I love this episode because in one of JD’s daydreams he ends up debating abortion with a statuette of Jesus come to life. The statuette wins!

My Long Goodbye (2) · Season 6, Episode 15 – Aired: 4/5/2007
In an episode that has the emotional depth of a series finale we see Nurse Roberts pass away after a car accident. The rest of the cast must reflect on her influence on them.

My Finale, Part 1/2 · Season 8, Episode 18 – Aired: 5/6/2009
It is rare than any series finale of a long-running show makes the list anyone’s top episodes, but while it was stretched out to a full hour, it was well worth it. Three things make this episode great. First, and most importantly was Dr. Cox giving a touching speech on what JD actually meant to him. Next was the farewell walk of JD as he left Sacred Heart forever. Current and former cast members greeted him, including former patients and deceased characters. Finally as a farewell to the fans Ted’s band (affectionately knows as “The Worthless Peeons”) performs the show’s theme song a capella. Few shows have finales that life up to the reputation that gave them such a long run. For Scrubs this finale surpassed it!

Can this be filed under “saving the relationship?”

I couldn’t do it… I just couldn’t bring myself to watch the Obama Press conference last night. Not only did President Obama call a press conference to basically say that after one hundred days in office, he has not been impeached, no states have seceded from the union and there have been no attacks from invading armies… yet.

I’ve been at my job for well more than 100 days. Do I get a press conference?

But I did not watch because Krystle came over after her workout with her trainer and as we do on Wednesdays, have dinner and watch Lost. That’s another thing that upset me about this press conference. Sure I’m willing to skip an episode in the final season of Scrubs, only to watch it online later. But do NOT preempt LOST! I swore if I did have to miss Lost I would run against Obama in 2012 on that platform… That and the Fair Tax.

A typical occurrence when Obama is on TV is me sitting there engaged in debate with the president. He seems to ignore my rebuttal but somehow I usually end up ahead on points. Krystle has threatened to make me go downstairs and play Mario Kart on the Wii if I don’t stop. But since the Wii is at her house I decided to just not catch up on some unwatched shows on my DVR.

Tonight’s selection: GI Joe Resolute. This may be the GI Joe cartoon I’ve waited my whole life to see. It is definitely grown up from the 80’s cartoon, which by todays standards may be a little cheesy, so not much of a cheese factor here. But plenty of blood and guts, and even a few good guys not surviving the experience. Basically a globetrotting animated 24 that doesn’t take place in real time. Of course I’m not the first person to compare GI Joe to 24. Wizard Magazine once said “GI Joe makes the spies on 24 look like CIA washouts!”

The action is similar to the comic books, specifically the more recent Devil’s Due Publishing run, though this is an original story. The cast is mostly original. The voice acting was pretty good, but how great would it have been to reassemble the original cast. Yes I know there are cast members who have passed away so that is impossibility.

The animation was updated for the 21st century as well. The character models seem to be built on a hybrid Japanese/American style of animation. It works well.

The story is solid, works in some cool military sci-fi gadgets but does go PC in a couple places. Sure Scarlet, one of the few female Joes comes out of a fight unscathed while her male partner takes a non-lethal bullet. Also the Dialtone character is reprised as a woman. Not a mainstream enough character to be as offensive as Battlestar Galactica’s reprising of Starbuck as a woman, but sill a change nonetheless.

We finished with GI Joe at about 8:53 in time to hear President Obama give the final answer of his press conference. After a couple minutes I asked, “Is he just talking to hear himself talk?” as his words lacked clear cohesion of thought. After the president left the podium ABC’s Charlie Gibson gave a synopsis of the event calling the most interesting question: “What has surprised you the most? Humbled you the most? Enchanted you the most?”

I didn’t know People Magazine covered presidential press conferences. I did learn this morning that question was asked by a New York Times reporter.

Enchanted, really?

If journalism isn’t already dead, it’s on life-support and that reporter just pulled the plug!

I’ll take my chances

Swine flu, the world-ending crisis-of-the-week, seems to have captured the attention, hearts and imagination of the global reporting community. I especially mean the part about capturing the imagination.

Wile hundreds of reported cases are confirmed, a representative of the WHO has said that there are only seven confirmed deaths, not the more than 150 figure that was previously thrown around.

I am one person, there are seven reported deaths. There are well more than six billion people on the planet.

That works out to about a one in 857,142,857chance of dying from this “pandemic”. Or as Porky Pig might say:

“One in eight hudre… ba de, eight hundred fifty-seven mil, ba de, one in eight… a really big number.”

That makes this about the least likely cause of death in the world right now.

I think I’ll be okay on my own, Mr. President, and I don’t need the government coming in to take over the healthcare industry because of this perceived crisis.

That being said, I suddenly feel better about the bacon I had for breakfast today.

Why my fiancé can now never be Miss USA

...Okay, besides the fact that she’s going to be a Mrs. before the next pageant.

Sunday the goal was to be home by 7:00 so Krystle could watch the Miss USA pageant. We got there in the nick of time and as soon as the contestants were introduced Krystle was barking at the girls in their bikinis. “Eat a cheeseburger!” “Look at her walk it’s too stiff” “Tone up your legs!”

This is the same woman who yells at me to go downstairs and play Mario Kart when I start debating with the man giving the State Of The Union Address!

Irony!

Of course, little did we know that politics was about to enter the pageant with the final question for Miss California. She was asked about her views on gay marriage by openly gay celebrity bloger Perez Hilton.

Before I quote her answer a little recent history is called for. This past November when it seemed that left wing radical ideals were all the rage across the country, the blue state of California had a gay marriage proposal on the ballot. That issue went down like a Led Zeppelin. It wasn’t even close! Since then there have been attempts to subvert democracy and institutionalize gay marriage via courts. This is the epitome of what is meant by a vocal minority. And a vocal minority that enforces its values on a silent majority is called fascism.
Now that we have established the views of the minority and majority of Californians on this issue it should come as no surprise that a randomly selected citizen of the golden state would statistically fall in the majority.

So what was Perez Hilton so upset about when his question received the following answer:

“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you
know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a
marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there,
but that's how I was raised.”

Kudos to Miss Carrie Prejean for standing up for what you believe. Double kudos to your parents for raising you right. And a final round of kudos for exposing the Miss USA pageant for what it is: an agenda-driven leftist biased all lefties club where even if you have the best body, best smile, best walk and best answers, if you don’t agree with what the judges personal bias you not only will not win the crown, the judge will lambaste you on his blog.

But not this blog; here we like you, Carrie. You may never get that national crown, but you’re a voice for all those tea partiers out there! And yes, my fiancé, who competed for Miss Ohio a year ago, would have given a very similar answer.

Running the numbers

President Obama has called for $100 million in cuts from the 3.5 trillion dollar budget.

Let’s look at these numbers next to each other

......$100,000,000.00 in cuts from
$3,500,000,000,000.00 federal budget.

Let’s put it this way. If the entire federal budget were one dollar, then you would have to make that cut 350 times before you would have cut one full penny from the budget.

In other words, Obama has successfully called for cutting one thirty-five thousandth of the budget.

And you wonder why people are assembling in masses to protest this reckless spending!

What kind of job would you do for $500,000?

This week President Obama suggested that financial firms taking federal bailout money cap their executive pay at a half million dollars per year.

This is what economists call a price ceiling. What happens when you have a price ceiling is that prices automatically go to that level. So now that all bailed-out banks will have half-millionaire CEO’s what is the incentive to be a bank executive when you could be an executive of a less-regulated industry.

A paycheck is essentially a bribe to get you to do something you would otherwise not do. Most people would rather sleep in, take a relaxing drive to the gym, read a good book, catch up on Lost and eat out at expensive restaurants, rather than sit in a monochrome cubicle for eight hours strait.

By capping executive salaries, or any salaries for that matter, you will have the most talented executives leaving the banking industry for more lucrative careers where earning potential will not be limited.

Inversely when you can only pay an executive a mere 500 large, you get a 500k executive. Okay, let’s put that in some more scaled down terms if you actually think that $500,000 is a lot of money.

If you ran a restaurant and you were only going to pay your cook $1 per hour that he worked how good of a cook do you think you would get? Sure you would get the Wolfgang Puck of most third-world countries for that rate, but for our little example let’s assume your restaurant is somewhere in North America.

The answer is that you would get either no one willing to do the job for that amount or someone so terrible at their job that they are only worth one dollar per hour.

An executive worth only $500,000 in our society is a pretty bad executive. This would lead to a talent vacuum in the financial markets which would put them in further disarray, leading to more government intervention, regulation and socialization of our private sector. Then again, that’s probably just Obama’s master plan.

Please consider the economy before printing THIS blog

It has come to my attention no less than twice since posting my previous post on environmental stimulus, that my theory would more immediately and more importantly help the economy.

Oh, if you haven’t read my previous post it’s right here. No, take your time, I’ll be here when you get back.

Okay now that you’ve gone back and read what I wrote earlier this week we can now move forward.

When I printed that email, which I did so in order to perform a task at my job, I was creating economic growth. By doing my job, my company is able to complete it’s stated mission, by completing their mission they can make a profit. When making a profit the shareholders get a dividend and the stock price goes up and more people are employed, and they print out emails that go on to save the planet.

I just realized that in one run-on-sentence I summed up an entire semester of Environmental Economics.

The point is, the environment and economic prosperity are not mutually exclusive. Sure the environmentalists believe so, but that’s because their real agenda is as much government regulation on business as possible. And it’s impossible for an individual, company or society to grow its way out of heavy restraints, let alone prosper!

Please consider the environment before printing blog

Today I received an email at work that, in tiny little green letters at the bottom of the message read “Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail”.

So I printed it.

And yes I considered the environment. So assuming trees are good for the environment I helped plant a tree today by printing this email.

If I print the email, then my company needs to order more paper. If we order more paper then somebody needs to produce more paper. If the paper company is to produce more paper they need to get more raw materials, i.e. trees. To get more trees they need to call the lumberjack to cut some down. And because the lumberjack doesn’t want to go out of business, he will plant a brand new tree.

I helped the environment by printing out this goofball’s email!

If you are reading this blog, please hold down the “Ctrl” key and then press the “P” key. If you are reading a printout of this blog, please find your nearest copy machine and make a copy.

The environment needs our help. We must all do our part!

I’m still alive!

Okay it’s been a while… it’s not that I haven’t been expressing myself online, you can check me out at examiner.com where I’m the Buckeye Examiner (and there’s cash involved too!)

But a lot has happened since my celebrity sightings… Obama won turning us potentially into the USSA.

The wedding planning is ongoing, when I get a chance to update it I’ll have our wedding blog site up and running.

Krystle and mom bonded over black Friday shopping. I was scheduled to join them but at the last minute my Jack Bauer approach to shopping probably caused my invitation to be rescinded. Remember I as a man I don’t browse products to buy I hunt for them and with laser guided focus I ignore all other sales. I was planning itineraries, charts and cell phone logistics to maximize the potential for black Friday deals.

This is not how a woman shops.

But wouldn’t it be great if one season of 24 took place on black Friday? The following takes place between 6:00 Am and 7:00 AM

Phone rings
Chloe
Jack, you have to get out of Best Buy, the Wii’s just got restocked at Wal Mart.

Jack
Chloe, there’s no time!

That would probably get more women to watch the show.

Celebrity Sightings

It’s funny how you can spot a famous person you’re note expecting to see. Friday night I was with my fiancé, Krystle, who was working a Corona promotion. Normally I only drink Corona once a year on May 5th, but to support her cause I made an exception.
The promotion took place at a bar near Campus. Being a warm enough night there was lots of activity on the patio and many, many students wandering the sidewalk. Amongst the students of varying levels of clothing quality and inebriation I spotted an older gentleman with a bow tie. No not my dad, but the rock star of college presidents, Ohio State’s own G. Gordon Gee.

The thing about Dr. Gee is that he’s popular among students. I’m not sure if they just think he’s the guy who has those late-night tv commercials about money from the government, but he was swarmed by young buckeyes and posed for pictures and shook hands with as many as came up to him.

Then, and more importantly, on Sunday Krystle and I were in southern Ohio at the Bob Evan’s festival. I had asked a bean vendor (yes, a bean vendor!) where she got her McCain/Palin button. She said they were ordered online and there was no [official] GOP presence there (I did count about a half-dozen t-shirts supporting the republican ticket). The lady did inform me that Sarah Palin may be speaking at the Gallipolis Wal Mart. I told Krystle and said we should try and go, since we had to head that way anyway to pick up a camera.

Without any solid plans to attend Gov. Palin’s rally we were a few blocks away when we saw a motorcade of police motorcycles. Krystle tells me “We don’t have police like that around here!”

That’s when I spotted a bus coming around the corner. “That’s the Strait talk express!” I shouted.
Krystle said for me to roll down the window, which I had temporally forgotten how to do in the excitement.

I leaned into my car horn and held a big thumb up out the window while Krystle yelled “WE LOVE YOU SARAH!!!”

No word on if the VP candidate heard us but the bus driver waved at me!

Right now the DJIA is at 8,303.44

As of this post the Dow Jones Industrial Average is 8,303.44. This is roughly half of its all-time high.

At this point it's important to remember my Finance professor from college who once told me "We will likely see the Dow hit 20,000 in our lifetime [this was right around the time it hit 10,000 for the first time], but we might see 6 along the way."

This is a trend, just like that 90's dotcom boom. The thing about trends is that they are pretty consistent right up until they end.

It's Getting Nasty... Nasty Funny!

Political name calling happens in every election... but this year the theme is definitely "Same Circus, Different Clowns"

Well here's a brief synopsis of some back-and-forth.

Palin: "(A small town mayor) is kind of like being a community organizer, but with actual responsibility."

Obama Supporters: "Jesus was a Community Organizer, Pilate was a Governor"

Now asside for historical/theological inaccuracies, but honestly, how often do liberals really read the Bible and keep it in context.

Sure, Pilate was a governor, but it was Jesus' own people (the Jews) who condemned him. Pilate was just under pressure from Rome to not loose control of Judea. When Jesus came in with his ideals that upset the existing Jewish status-quo (kind of like Palin in the Alaskan political system) it was the Jewish Leadership who wanted him killed. Pilate offered them Barabbas, a convicted murderer, but mob rule demanded Jesus be crucified...

Okay that was a long-winded explanation for something that all worked out in the end, but I think the best way to say it is:

"I know Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ is a friend of mine. Barack Obama, you're no Jesus Christ!"